Cory Wayne's Brain

When Believers are Unbelievers

2010-08-05T09:48:00.000-07:00

I realize the very nature of this blog will offend some, so if you're easily offended, stop reading.

I saw a picture posted by the Huffington Post of protesters against Gay marriage in California being made fun of. I found this picture very enlightening.

I think the "other guys" are right. I think God hates those signs. Any idiot that will hold up a sign saying, "God hates Fags" or with "stick figures of men having sex" has no understanding of God. I am annoyed that they represent "Christianity". I don't agree with Gay Marriage. I think it is sin and should not be allowed. I do, however, believe that God loves the sinner in the face of his sin. If we are going to make a difference in this world, we need to stop putting all our eggs in the basket of the courts(yeah, how's that been working out). We should be trying to reach the hearts of each of these people who are steeped in sin.

When I see these idiots representing me and my Christ with these wicked signs, I think of the demon possessed girl in the book of Acts who walked around claiming Jesus was the Christ. Sometimes the best thing Satan can do is cheer for "Christianity". It then will wicked by association.

Pizza

2010-07-28T09:17:00.001-07:00

How do you like your pizza?

The Right Thing the Wrong Way

2010-06-30T07:26:00.000-07:00

Ok, I have a question for you guys:

Would you rather do the right thing the wrong way, or do nothing at all and save face? Be honest.

I have been reminded this week of something I did which was the right thing to do, but I did it the wrong way(Not on purpose, I know the right way now, in hindsight). I took some hard licks because of it, lost some friends and lost some reputation. Keep in mind, I would have lost those things even if I had done it the right way. I'm overwhelmed by the feeling that I would do the right thing the wrong way 1,000 times before I'd do nothing.

While thinking of this, I'm reminded of the many more times I did the wrong thing the right way. You know?, when you smother it with strawberry icing and make it look beautiful and RIGHT??

I think I want people to remember me for being a doer, and not just a doer, but a doer of right. I don't ever want to be one of those who worry so much about messing up the method that I do nothing. I also don't want to be one of those who worry so much about doing the method that I only do the method with no substance. If we are going to be useful members of the Body of Christ, we have to be willing to snatch that which need to be snatched and say things that need to be said. If you see a kid in the road, you don't worry about hurting his ego or his head, you just run and snatch him up. Your thoughts are not on his bruises from your grabbing him. His bruises will only heal if he is alive!

Blowing Zombie's Heads Off

2010-05-27T11:58:00.000-07:00

So when I say I hate zombies, here's what I mean.

Zombies are the dead who walk among and feed off of the living. When I say zombie, I mean those people who are members of churches who are on the devil's payroll. I mean those who only seem happy when they are causing disarray among the living. Before you go nuts and say I'm grinding an axe, I'm not. I'm absolutely convinced that there are zombies in (nearly)every church. I'm not mad at anyone, I'm just tired of/confused by how to handle zombies in our current church culture.

"What do you mean?", you say. I mean that we live in a "seeker-friendly" world. I do believe there are some basic procedural changes that churches can make to make the unchurched feel less awkward. But, in our pursuit to be super nice to everyone, we have taken out some of the basic tools for accountability.

How do you kill a zombie? It is a proven scientific fact that the only way to kill a zombie is to blow its stinking head off with a shotgun (taken from Zombie Science Weekly). It is frustrating to know that zombies are among us, but we have the gun cabinet locked!!!!

The Scriptures provide us with a course of action, a shotgun, if you will. Matthew 18:15-17 tells us one way. If someone offends us, go to him and tell him. If reconciliation cannot be had, take witnesses and try again. If that doesn't work, take him to the church. If that still doesn't work, cast him out. If we took this approach the first time we were offended, the zombies would seed themselves out. I John 1:5-7 carries the implication that darkness hates light. If we bring darkness to the light, zombies work themselves out.

Paul told the church at Corinth to take the dude who was sleeping with his step-mom and kick him out of the church immediately. He did, in 2 Corinthians, encourage them to bring him back to the fold. But, his first concern was pleasing God. It sure does seem like we let alot slide. We all know those very active church members that have behavior we ignore because we know we couldn't replace them. (My only hang-up now is tying the teaching of the wheat and the tares with these scriptures. Any thoughts?)

Don't get me wrong, church is about encouragement, spurring one another to love and good works. I don't want there to be a witch-hunt(or zombie-hunt) everyday. It just seems that the more you watch, you'll see that we worry more about keeping the boat from rocking instead of keeping the boat holy. What if we protected the Body of Christ in the same way we protect the gentle-experience of church? I guess it all comes back to comfort over correctness.

I'm not saying I'm perfect. Blowing a few zombie's heads off would have saved me all kinds of trouble. This came up in my regular Bible study and I wanted to share. Let me encourage you to pray about how much you protect the Body of Christ. In the world we should turn the other cheek and take one for the team sometimes. In the church, though, we are to attack sin and dissension with LOVING guns ablazing. Maybe we've got it all backwards. We fight against all the sin of the world while sin sits in the pew next to us.

Go West Young Man

2010-05-25T08:24:00.001-07:00

I hear a still small voice. To be quite honest, it has been so long, I almost forgot what it sounded like. Here is what I hear: Go.

It's kinda strange. I don't know what He means: Go here, go there, go north, go south.....just go. I have this ever growing and burning distaste for ministry in places where there is a church on every corner. I don't know if that is connected to the "Go" or not. I know that God calls men to work in the Bible belt, and they do a great work: I just can't get past the feeling that I'm not one of them. It will be very interesting when you all remind me I wrote this as I sit in the Bible belt with a Baptist (or true) church on all four sides of me.

Sometimes it starts feeling like a pastor's job and a church's duty is to try to find enemies in our own camp. How wild would it be if our servicemen flew all the way to Afghanistan and spent all their time fighting on base? I know there are lost people around me here. I also know that I look around and see a great army that has been amassed. In my town/area alone there are 15-30 Baptist churches(not counting the true ones without the name). There are literally thousands of church members who sit on pews each Sunday. I wonder how many soldiers it would take to conquer this area in war.....I'll bet we have that many in the Lord's Army here.

I saw a stat the other day by Campus Crusades: 97% of all Christian giving stays in the USA. Whether or not this is completely accurate, I don't know. But, it does sound about right. I'm not trying to guilt anyone into shame over having cool stuff. What I am saying is that we have the resources here.

We have the army, we have the resources. Now we need the call to Charge( but wait, we already have that.....). I want to be a scout, or a commander on the front lines(I think). Staying here kinda seems to me like being a chaplain. Let me say again, I'm not judging anyone who plays this role, I'm trying to voice my feelings about me.

Two phrases come to mind as I write this:
Go West Young Man
and
Here am I, Send Me

Here's What I Want to Say I Think

2010-05-20T13:37:00.000-07:00

Here's what I think:

I think there is very little safety in telling what I think at this point. That's sad really. I am currently seeking God's direction, hoping for a church to pastor/field to work. While I am not allowed to say this out loud, I need to be marketable. We can say that it is all in the Lord's hands, but I like to be realistic. (I know some of you JUST deemed me a faithless sweaty Philistine)

It SHOULD be in the Lord's hands, but in reality, 2 things occur. 1. Churches look for pastors with incredible preaching ability 2. Pastors look for churches with potential and money. It shouldn't be that way, but it often is.

I think it is sad that I feel the need to filter what I say in order to stay "marketable". I've seen it happen to other guys. They share their thoughts and became radioactive because their opinions aren't in line with the "establishment"(whatever that is...lol).

I think it is sad that some pastors have to filter what they say because they value their jobs and have legitimate fear for losing them. I will admit that it happens more often than "non-preachers" could ever imagine. I understand that Pastoring is about loving and leading.....but, part of leading is saying things that hurt. We live in a sinful world at a sinful time. We need to have the freedom to rebuke sin in the same tone of voice Paul did. We, as preachers, will berate the "institutional" sin, but can never call the sin that is in the 3rd pew to the light. Let's worry more about the Body of Christ being abused than the horrible person that we know is lost but who has been on the church roll for 50 years being offended.

I truly believe people want this honesty. I think they flock to dingbats like Joel Osteen and anything else on TBN because they lack respect for the way many of us approach our pulpits. People want bold leadership. Any church that doesn't, doesn't need a pastor(because they most likely already have one :)).

I have taken a new approach . I am trying biblical honesty. I am speaking my honest opinion, in love. I am ok with political incorrectness, if it is correct. I am ok with verbalizing an offense. I am ok with verbalizing an apology. My reputation is fast becoming the "blatantly honest guy" instead of the "nice guy", and I am ok with that. I'm finding that I have more people than I thought who appreciate my opinion(even as they disagree with it). I'm finding that hiding offenses was a major case of stress in my life. I'm finding that I actually have something to say!!! At some point I convinced myself that I had little to say, and spent most of my time learning how to say it. You know what??? I have an opinion. I have knowledge to share. I have love to give(even in rebuke). I know that there is wisdom in how you speak, but I have a calling to be a mouthpiece of God,and I'm not sorry.

Even as I reread this, it sounds mad, but its not. I feel free. It is for freedom I have been set free, not to remained burdened by fear and shame. If I be shamed, let it be because I was quiet! if I be afraid, let it be because I fear the LORD if I do not fulfill my calling. I THANK MY GOD THAT HE COUNTED ME WORTHY, CALLING ME TO THE MINISTRY!!!! ANY MAN THAT DESIRES THE OFFICE OF A BISHOP DESIRES A GOOD WORK!!!

Not in Part, But the Whole

2010-05-18T08:44:00.000-07:00

"My sin, o the bliss of that glorious thought
My sin sin not in part, but the whole
was nailed to the cross, and I bear it no more
Praise the Lord, Praise the Lord o my soul!"

Wow! I am a thinker, a remember, a grudge-holder, and a, insult-logger. Because I have this tendency, I am often reminded(more than others at times I think) of the power of guilt. It is the single greatest tool satan has against me in my life. Others don't struggle with it as much(but they have their own struggles). I was taken to a verse today that, once again, reminded me of the lack of power in the past.

II Corinthians 5:17 says, "Therefore of any man be in Christ, he is a new creature: old things are passed away; behold, all things are made new."

Here's what i learned:

1. Any man- Greek tis- anyone (without restriction)- No one is exempt from the possibility of being in Christ, regardless of past sin. I still remember the guy in High School who told me that he was too sinful to be saved.

2. New Creature- Greek kaine ktisis- New(fresh, unheard of) Creation. We are, after salvation, a creation that is unheard of before. We are completely fresh. (not just fresh blankets and sheets, but a new mattress altogether)

3. Old things- Greek archaios- ancient, original- The original is gone, replaced with a different one.

4. Passed away- Greek tense aorist- completely passed away, action completed in and left in the past.

5. Made new- Greek ginomai kaine- Begotten(as in a new child)(word from which we get "generation") new(fresh, unheard of)- We begin a new generation in our lives, just as our children do (while they may look like us, they are entirely different).

There is nothing in the past that can hold a believer in bondage, because those things apply to a completely different person!!! Just a thought I figured I should share.

Do Your Best, Forget the Rest

2010-05-12T08:16:00.000-07:00

I am ending my career as an 8th Grade Bible Teacher. We are studying the Life of Christ, and are at the end of His life(duh).

I've studied/been taught/heard/learned about the last day of Jesus' life since the first few weeks of my life. It has become "old hat". But something amazing happened this month. It all became new.

I am amazed at all that He went through. The mockery, the disrespect, the scourging, the spiritual loneliness, the rejection, and the desertion.

The Creator stood by and "opened not His mouth" as he was humiliated, dared, and beaten, all the while having the power to remove them from memory with a word. It makes me think of all the times that I've thought, "You can't treat me like this...I'm the pastor!!!", or "I'm a human being, you WILL treat me with, at least, common decency". That FORCES a verse to my mind: Let this mind be in you which was also in Christ Jesus, Who, being in very nature God, thought it not robbery to be equal with God, but made Himself of NO REPUTATION, and took upon Himself the form of a servant, and was made in the likeness of men: and being found in fashion as a man, He HUMBLED Himself and became obedient to death , even the death of the cross.

The One Worthy of All Praise watched as He was rejected by His own people, whom He loved with His life. He was watched as all those who swore they would never leave Him ran away(one even running out of his own shorts!!!). He looked down from the cross and watched those of His group sit idly by as passersby slapped Him and spit in His face. Some would even say that He was separated from God for a time(I don't disagree, I just don't know if I agree). I think of all the times I've complained about being so utterly alone. Never once have my true friends turned on me. Never once did it even cross my family's mind to support me. My wife has been so with me that she is me. I will never know alone.

The One Who Sits on the Throne was scourged. Something hit me(It's not new, it just hit me as such) about this scourging. Sometimes it is portrayed as a means of punishment or humiliation. That was not the case. True, it accomplished those things, but that was not its purpose. Its purpose was to almost kill. When I think of it like that, it takes on a whole new depth. They were not just mocking Him, they were trying to get Him close to death. They beat Him, whipped Him, tore His flesh, put a crown of thorns on His head and the hit Him in the head for the purpose of getting Him within an inch of His life!!!

What's the point Cory? (i can hear you asking :)) Here is my realization: It all became new to me because it was my purpose to explain to those who had little to no understanding. It becomes "old hat" when our only purpose in knowing the story is to talk about it among other believers or sing about it with other believers. We fall into the trap of sitting around chanting our stories to one another. We may as well be monks in the Tibetan mountains. The Power is not in the story. The Power is in the Power of the story. We are all built with a fire pit in our hearts, and it's only so big. We can fan our flame all we want, but the pit is only so big. We need to remember that the best way to start the out of control fire we all say we want is to turn our pit over and watch it catch fire elsewhere. "Victory in Jesus" is so much sweeter when you sing it next to someone who just found that Victory.

I saw that it was my PURPOSE(especially since I was being paid...lol) to put something in the place of nothing in the hearts and minds of those kids. It renewed something in me. I'm sorry, but from a Pastor's standpoint, it gets old telling "good ol' church folks" the same thing day in and day out with no results. It's a whole lot more fun and fulfilling to teach new, young believers. What if everyone in our churches who had been saved for a few years saw it as their purpose to teach and not be taught? We spend Sunday School, Morning Sermon, Evening Sermon, Wednesday Night Sermon, and Various Bible Study learning. We have become spiritually obese. If all you do is eat and never exercise, you get too fat, get high blood pressure, diabetes, high cholesterol, etc and die. The P90X of the Bible is Matthew 28:18-20. Do Your Best, Forget the Rest.

Sorry if I was ranting, it was just on my brain(and that is the name of this site :)

Casting Out Fear

2010-05-06T07:59:00.000-07:00

So many times, when it comes to doing something for God, we approach it with fear. I know you already know about the many verses that tell how “God did not give us a Spirit of fear” and “Perfect love casts out fear”; but many times, just saying that isn’t enough. These are statements of fact, not statements of persuasion. Let’s look now at some reasons that casts out some fear.
In Acts 8, Philip was told to leave the revival happening in Samaria and go to Gaza(yeah the same Gaza on the news). When he got there, he found a man from Ethiopia sitting in his chariot reading from the book of Isaiah. This man, with no help, found Isaiah chapter 53 inside a scroll with no chapter markers!!! If I were to give the average Joe on the street a Bible with not chapters and verses, I’d bet most couldn’t find John 3:16, much less a passage in Isaiah!!! All Philip had to do was explain what the Ethiopian was already chewing on.
Two chapters later, Peter is told to go to the house of Cornelius. He finds that this Gentile had experienced a vision from God. All Peter had to do was connect the dots. His vision from God connected with Cornelius’ vision equaled a coming together of Jews and Gentiles!!!
In Deuteronomy 28:7, God tells His people that He would cause their enemies to rise up and be smitten. They would attack Israel in one way and flee in seven ways. This is shown all throughout Joshua and Judges. People shook in fear at the reputation of the Israelites. God caused the enemy forces to be weakened long before the Israelites showed up for battle.
We often have fear in serving God because we forget one basic truth: God is involved in the plan before we are. He has a way of preparing hearts, connecting visions, and weakening enemies. He puts people in places that we could never begin to know about. William Faye, author of Share Jesus Without Fear, claims that a person normally hears the gospel 7.6 times before accepting it. God has the 7 planned before the foundation of the world. What if you are the 0.6? When we come to a situation, we must understand the God has either paved the way for us, or that we are paving the way for someone else.
Paul understood this. He cared little for credit in the end result. He told the Corinthians, “I have planted, Apollos watered, but God gave the increase”. One other reason we approach serving God with fear is because we fear failure, and we have wrongly defined failure. We, in our proud way, see failure as “inability to get the desired result”, when God defines failure simply as “inaction”. Let’s get over ourselves and do something!
1. God is involved in the plan before we are.
2. Failure is not inability but inaction.
“Let a man so account of us, as of the ministers of Christ, and stewards of the mysteries of God.”

Dealing with Doubting

2010-05-05T08:15:00.000-07:00

Let me be completely honest today. Will that be okay? Okay then.

I am currently in a passionate love relationship with my God, but that was not the case just a little while ago (look at a few of my older posts and see for yourself). There was a point in the really not so distant past, I hate to admit, that I was as convinced as I have ever been that God was not there and the Bible couldn't really be something around which to base your life.

The Situation:
I began studying all the critics. Through very logical arguments, I became 99% convinced that I could not put my trust in some cryptic old book. Sure, I've read more books than most that prove the Bible's authenticity, but "there is none so blind as him who will not see". I won't go into the arguments I dealt with both because I don't want to tempt you, and I don't want to tempt myself. Suffice it to say that I was struggling.
I had a sneaking suspicion that there was no God on the other side of the ceiling. All the songs, prayers, and sermons had a way of bouncing off the out-dated wood paneling. If there was a God, then He was practicing a submarine style radio silence.

The Problem:
I began reading fiction novels. Don't get me wrong, there's nothing wrong with reading fiction. But, I was drawn to a certain "conspiracy theory-there is no God" subject matter. I read after men who wrote "Historical Fiction". It is obvious that these men had an ax to grind with God, but I couldn't see that then.
I stopped reading my Bible. Rather than give the Word of God the opportunity to defend itself, I chose instead to give it an unfair trial and proclaim it guilty.
I stopped praying. In the same way I would dare my Mom to try and make me cry (You know, you can spank me but it won't hurt), I rebelled against my God. I said that if He could give me the silent treatment, then I could do the same, if not more. (As I write this, I can hear Carvell Bowens reading an excerpt in High School from "The Seven Trombones" that says, "Young man. Young man, your arms are too short to box with God")

The Diagnosis:
I believed that I was logically convinced that the Bible had no merit and there was no God. In reality, that was so far from the truth. You see, these arguments have been around since this all began, so what changed? If I am a child of God and the natural inclination of a child of God is to be drawn to Him, why did I find myself being naturally(and yes, it became natural) repulsed by Him? There had to be an new variable in the equation.
I felt betrayed. When you lift the magician's magical hat, that's the white rabbit. It was the problem all along. It happened so quickly that I didn't even see it until later. I became convinced that if God were keeping the promises of His Word to me, I would not be in the situation in which I then found myself. If God were a God of power then He would not allow all that I was seeing. I see now that I did not truly understand the promises of God. I truly believed God could do what He says He can do, I was just wrong about what I thought He said He could/would do.(read that again) I became offended at God, so I chose to be convinced that He was not there. It was not unlike the little boy in "Big Daddy" who chooses to believe he's invisible just by wearing sunglasses.

The Solution:
I began reading my Bible. I forgot one very important thing: The Bible is a Spiritual Book, only to be explained by the Spirit and understood by the Spiritual. What I mean is this: There are very sound arguments on both sides. But the one proof that is irrefutable is the working of the Holy Spirit that I feel/experience at its words. Hebrews tells us, not that we are convinced in the story of Creation by the scientific evidence, but by faith we believe. True, there is evidence, but God never told us to get into a spitting contest with the other side. I began reading, even though I really didn't want to. You know what happened? God's Spirit bore witness with my Spirit that I was child of God. I found that I could not experience the Spirit working in me and refuse it. That is why I stopped reading my Bible. There was a part of me that knew the only way to win the argument was to not allow the other side to have a say.
God has shown me, in a loving and patient way, that the problem was not Him, but me. One must allow God to argue for Himself in the court of his heart. When He gets to cross-examine, He always wins. Doubt comes from not allowing Him His day in court. God is the Righteous Judge, but He allows us to sit on the Judge's bench in our own hearts. Because He wants given-love and not taken-love, He acts as, not as the Judge in this particular court, but as the Prosecutor or Defendant.

Why am I writing this? I don't necessarily have a great urge to self-deprecate, I just know of some people who are dealing with doubting. I thought if I shared my experience, it may help. I urge anyone who reads this, to use it as a tool if you need it.

I KNOW RIGHT???!!!

2010-04-30T10:18:00.000-07:00

I figured I would try blogging before I do my Bible study today. When I do it after, I always seem to have something to say, and some days you just want to say nothing.

So get this:

This year is my 10 year High School Reunion. Weird. It kinda feels strange, but honestly not too strange. I had a near melt-down when I turned 25. I don't know why exactly, it was just the number in my head that said "Grown-up". I wonder if everyone has that number in their head. It's ok now. I'm a grown-up. I'm not trying to fight it anymore. I may still do some very immature things, but now I understand that they have grown-up consequences(even the little ones).

I have high blood pressure. I KNOW RIGHT???!!! If you can't tell from my blog posts, I'm a little stressed about what direction God is about to take our lives; but, to be quite honest, I eat like a freakin' nut!!!! Yeah, I could knock out 4,000 calories a day....easy. And sodium(the Blood Pressure culprit), it's nothing to have 4,000 mg a day. I could demolish 4 cups of coffee and 100 oz of Dr.Pepper and not break a sweat. I guess it's time to exercise, right? But wait. I can't because my knee pops all the stinkin' time and swells. (Wow, when you put this in writing, this is quite comical). So, now I'm taking medication, (trying to) vowing to exercise, diet(trying), and trying to chill. Don't misinterpret my tone, I'm not whining. This is funny.

Oh well. Like I said, I have nothing to say. I'm going to do my Bible Study now and see what God has to say that is going to make me want to blog again :)

Why There?

2010-04-29T08:34:00.001-07:00

So I asked all my missionary friends on Facebook, "Why There? Why did you choose the field in which you work?"

If I were to compare them all and find common denominators, this is what they said:

1. Write God a blank check- Each one, whether said or unsaid, told of a time that they just said, "OK God, whatever".

2. Go where it makes sense- They all were moved by the Holy Spirit, but what I see is that the Holy Spirit actually has a clue. None of them were moved to an area that is filled to the brim with Scriptural churches. They were all called to area where it statistically made sense. There was a need on paper. The numbers didn't decide for them, but none of them were called to start a church across the street from another church (if you get my drift).

3. God gives the burden- All of them had a burden for an area supplied by God. This is in direct relation to the Blank Check.

What am I going to do with this? I don't know.

So Abraham just left.

2010-04-28T08:15:00.000-07:00

So Abraham just left.

I've read/heard this story probably thousands of times at this point, and it finally hit me. Abraham just left. He packed up his stuff and rode off on on his camel into the Canaan sunset. No real plan. No real security. No real anything. God said to him, "Get out of your country and go where I will show you".

The disciples just followed. Jesus told them that He didn't have a house. They just left. They left their families. They did a great work because they just followed.

These guys didn't get to have normal lives. They didn't get the 401K. Most of them were buried far from their homeland.

I'm having one of those days where I can't decide if this encourages me or really annoys me.

New Respect for Missionaries

2010-04-19T08:10:00.000-07:00

I have a new respect for missionaries. Jessica and I are going on a short-term 2 week mission trip to the Amazon with Youth Frameworks. For this to occur, we need $4,000. I've never really been able to wrap my mind around deputation(where missionaries go and ask churches to support them). God is helping me see. I'm not sure if I hope He's preparing us for the future or just helping me understand it a little better.

A friend of mine told me that money would come from all over the place. He said that deputation is one of the best ways to see God move. It's a faith grower.

He was right. Overnight, we have reached almost half of our goal!!! I also know that other churches and people and preparing to help soon. Praise be to God for the ways He builds faith. I have no doubt that our goal will be reached. No doubt!!!

But this brings me to my point. As Jess and I wait in God to supply a measly $4,000 for a short-term trip, I'm reminded of my friends who have/had no doubt that God would supply that much or more A MONTH for regular support! Almost all my missionary friends have children. Jess and I are just the 2 of us. I can still barely(if at all) imagine what it takes to leave the support of your family up to churches of which you've never been a part.

So, if you read this, here's what I want you to do:
1. Say a prayer (by name) for every missionary you know.
2. Thank God for those who have extreme faith who carry the Gospel to the world.

Thy Will Be Done

2010-04-14T08:08:00.001-07:00

I think I'll take a break from the Spanish today for all those who don't wanna read Spanish...lol

I have something on my brain. So here it goes.

Do I believe that God is a God of miracles? I don't think I want to answer that publicly, but I think you know the answer. All my life I have been taught that the spiritual gifts of the Bible have been done away with. I believe that. I didn't for a while, but then I spent some time in my Bible. The Lord has confirmed in my heart that they were done away with near the time the Bible was completed/canonized/distributed(not sure). The Scriptures teach that.

Here's my hang-up: Sometimes my people (good old missionary Baptists) try so hard not to be one of "those" people who over sensationalize the Holy Spirit's role today that we render Him altogether powerless. The fact that I have this problem is not the fault of my spiritual raising. I remember distinctly how that my childhood pastor and father in the faith would say that "God can still work miracles, but He just won't use the spiritual gifts to do it". I believe that intellectually. I just can't seem to make myself believe that practically.

Beth Moore said (yes Im doing a Beth Moore Study---don't judge me...lol) that, "Often we believe little because we see little, but we see little because we believe little." I don't really expect much from God. I expect Him to wave some magic wand when I feel bad. I expect Him to be present and accepting when I choose to praise Him. On a daily basis, I expect air, food, shelter, and protection. I can't say that I truly expect God to heal a terminal disease when I ask for it. I can't say that I expect God to open miraculous doors for me to walk through. I've kinda convinced myself that He watches as I choose and open doors. There is a definite gap between my theology and my reality.

I tend to pray in intellect. Aren't we told to pray in faith? A life without a true expectation is a life without hope. We have finally reached the bedrock of my frustration (I hope). I constantly complain about how I am not the witness I wish I could be and how I don't understand why I can't seem to do anything about it. Here is the truth of the matter: I exercise no faith, proving that I have no hope, and HOPE is that which MAKES US NOT ASHAMED!!!!!

God knows that we are self-centered and small-minded. I can't believe I'm saying this, but hear me out. Heaven is not enough!!!!! The hope of eternity is not enough for man. Man very rarely thinks outside the box of his day, week, or month; outside the box of his job or family. Man NEEDS something for which to hope for inside those boxes. While pleasing God should be enough reason, man needs to believe God daily for his own benefit also.

Do you pray with words and think disclaimers?
How often do you take the Model prayer's phrase "Thy will be done" and make it a disclaimer instead of a desire?
The God I know in my mind is not a Billy Mays Infomercial in need of a disclaimer. I pray God You will make that God the God of my heart

Ayudame Por Favor

2010-04-12T07:12:00.000-07:00

Tengo una problema. Puedo leer español, puedo escribir en español (mas o menos), y puedo eschuchar las palabras cuando alguno persona los dice. Mi problema esta que no puedo que comprender las palabras cuando los escucho. Escucho las palabras muy claro, pero en mi mente lo veo la palabra solo. Con la palabra, no hay un definición. Puedo hablar rápido y puedo escuchar rápido, sino no puedo comprender rápido. Yo se' parece que gracioso, pero escucho muy bien sino oigo muy despacio. Que necesito hacer? Ayuda me por favor!

Quiero que hallar un amigo de lengua. Conozco algunos hispánicos, creo que necesito hablar con ellos para que practicar. Debo que pedirlos.

Que cree?

Super-Soaked

2010-04-08T07:19:00.000-07:00

I'm finding that the Spanish is coming back quickly. True, there are nuances that one can only get from immersion, but I think I'm kicking for a beginner.

BUT, I've reached that point where my brain feels super-saturated and if I hear another word in Spanish I will explode. I am translating my Nuevo Testamento from Spanish to English, Listening to about 5 Podcasts a day for vocab and grammar, and thinking in Spanish when I'm just thinking. I'm trying to treat this like language school (as best I can on my own), so I don't think I should take a break. You know, "Quit crying Nancy and don't quit". But I'm tired.

Here's what I need.
1. Someone to comment back a Spanish word so I can see that I won't explode (but if I do, I'm sending you my cleaning bill...lol)
2. Someone to tell me to "Suck it Up!!!!"
3. Someone else to Gently Encourage Me

I'll be taking auditions for each of these parts. It will be based on the next post you put on this blog. Thanks, and hope to see you there.

Por Que Practico

2010-04-06T07:50:00.000-07:00

Yo practico mucho español por que voy (ire-future?) a Perú en Juno. Mi esposa Jessica y mi vamos que ayudar Youth Frameworks para que hacer los pueblos acerca de la Amazona norteaste de Iquitos listos para que recibir le evangelio. Después reciben la salvación de Jesucristo, esperamos que plantar iglesias. Youth Frameworks fueron que región veces tres y hagan muchos buenos. En el verano antes (?), han hallado otros pueblos con iglesias se llama "Bautista Evangelio". Hay no Pastor y los gentes quieren que aprender las escrituras. Parece que alguno persona haga los trabajas antes de muchos anos y sale. También, Parece que los pueblos nuevos llevan un oportunidad excelente para que darlo evangelio de Jesucristo.

Cuando vamos, quiero que poder hablar a los gentes sin ayuda mucha. No quiero un otro persona dar el evangelio para mi si estoy allá.

"Como, entonces, invocaran a aquel en quien no han creído? Y como creerán en aquel de quien no han oido? Y como oiran sin haber quien los predique? Y como predicaran si no se les envia? Como esta escrito: 'Que hermosos son los pies de los que traen buenas neuvas?'" (Don't know how to work accents on Spanish keyboard)

Now My Brain Hurts

2010-04-05T06:56:00.000-07:00

Ok. Escribo con solo las palabras conozco ya.

En mi clase de Escuela de Domingo, veo en la libro do Tesalonicenses donde le dijo, "No regresa malas por malas" (Cory standard version). Este me hace que saber cuantos tiempos yo regreso malas por malas. Aseguro, no lo mato una persona cuando hace cosas malas a mi. Pero, cuando una persona se mueve la coche acerca de mi, se muevo mi coche acerca de el.

Muchos tiempos, me lo olvido que verso porque no los hago malas grandes. Pero, esta en las cosas pocas que peco.

Padre, ayuda me estar un discípulo en las cosas pocas y no solo en las cosas grandes, por favor. Amen

Just For Fun--- Somebody Grade Me

2010-04-01T07:21:00.001-07:00

"Hemos hallado a aquel do quien escribió Moises en la ley, y de quien escribieron también los profetas: a Jesús de Nazaret, el hijo de Jose."

"We have found the One of whom Moses wrote in the Law, and of whom the prophets also wrote: Jesus of Nazareth, the son of Joseph"

Bueno. Cool.

Si no haciendo nada, Deben aprender una lengua diferencia. Se ayuda para que comprender Las Escrituras. Cuando los traducen, no puedan olvidarlo!

If you aren't doing anything else, you should learn a different language. It helps you to understand the Scriptures. When you translate them, you can't forget it!

Puedan hacer cualquier cosa que lo quieren.

You can do anything you want.

The Order of Things

2010-03-31T09:17:00.000-07:00

Sometimes we become so small minded. We get religious tunnel-vision.

I am a Missionary Baptist. Then, I am a Baptist. Then, I am a Christian. Then, I am a Believer in Christ.

At times, I find myself thinking along this line. The funny thing is that it is exactly opposite of what it should be. I find myself looking at Christianity through the view of Missionary Baptistism (I know its not really an ism), rather than Missionary Baptistism through the lens of Christ.

I am always pleased when God reminds me through unexpected friendships that I(we) are not in this alone. I'm so thankful to God that the ABA doesn't have the monopoly on the gospel. To be quite honest, God is bigger than the ABA could ever hope to be.

Understand this: I am a missionary Baptist on purpose. I know what I believe and why I believe it. There may be some doctrinal issues with other believers, but so what??!! Who am I to say that a group that has salvation correct, baptism correct, and the Lord's Supper correct is not a true church because it affiliates with a group other than my own?

It's funny what you learn from experience. Some missionary friends of mine told me how that they don't see the lines as boldly as we do here in the buckle of the Bible belt. They are alone in a dark world, and when the light of a fellow believer shines, you go to it. Do you give up all your beliefs for the sake of friendship? No. But you do focus on the main things and find fellowship where you can.

Maybe here in the Bible Belt, the world is darker than it seems. Maybe we should work together to a common goal. Maybe all the churches in this church-soaked area aren't competition at all, but different battalions of the same army of the Lord. Maybe.

Father in Heaven,
Oh that You would help us join hands with BELIEVERS so that we might have the effect on this world You desire so much that You sent Your Only Son!!! Lord help me to see myself as a Believer, then a Baptist, then a Missionary Baptist.

Praying in Belief

2010-03-25T08:10:00.001-07:00

Lesson of the Day

Is the God you believe in today the same as the God of the Old Testament? When you pray to God, do you think "God Who split the Red Sea", or "God Who sent manna from heaven", or "God who destroyed the Egyptians", or "God Who created the Heavens Earth and all that is in them"?

Sometimes I find myself praying to the God of today. You know, the distant, quiet God who has awesome power, just not here. He may or may not hear my prayer and may or may not even know who I am. That, in case you didn't know, is not God at all.

In Acts 4, after Peter and John were arrested for the first time and released, they prayed in faith. That means they prayed in BELIEF. They prayed fully believing that the God of the Old Testament was their present God.

Do you pray in belief? Do you believe God is who He ways He is? Do you serve the pop culture God of today or do you serve the God of Abraham, Isaac, Jacob, Moses, Noah, and David?

Completely Up To Me

2010-03-17T07:20:00.000-07:00

I learned something while at LDMBC that changed my life (if I will let it). I know, I know. Usually I am a whiny grumpy butt when talking about what I learned there. I am starting to take inventory of all the good things I learned there.
So, here's what I learned. You can be as good as you want to be. Allow me to explain.

There is this man. I won't say his name because he is the kind of man that doesn't need or want praise (really). He is one of the greatest men I've ever met. From what I understand, he grew up to be a typical hard working, chauvinistic, dyed in the wool ABA deacon. He towed the line, keeping tradition alive. Then, something happened. I don't know what, or I wouldn't speculate, but something happened. He decided to be a better man.

Do know what he did to be a better man? (of course you don't, I'm telling this story) He started reading. He and his wife have read books on marriage. They have a MODEL marriage. they started reading books on finances. They are now my example of good stewardship. He reads books of how to think correctly and how to look at the world. He reads autobiographies of great people.

Don't misinterpret him. He is not an idiot who chases after every "self-help" guru that pops up. He is, however, concerned with surrounding himself with good counsel and allowing it to sway his behavior. Let me also say that he is a student of the Bible and filters all this information through God's Word.

I've decided that I can be as good as I want to be. I started a Bible study with a certain someone, and have started reading one of the many books I have on being a successful pastor. I have listened to a CD on the 7 decisions by Andy Andrews. You should check it out.

Here is what I've learned in 2 weeks:
From "10 Things Every Minister Should Know"
1. The Power of an Hour- What would you accomplish if you dedicated one hour a day to anything (first being time with God; second being anything else) If I spent an hour a day I could learn a language, memorize books of the Bible, be incredibly healthy, write hundreds of songs, learn so much!!!!
2. Who You Are is More Important Than What You Do- I should define myself by my relationship with God, not by my accomplishments. I don't know all that God has for me, so I don't really know how I'm doing on my Heavenly checklist anyway. If my relationship is in order, actions MUST follow.

From "The 7 Decisions"
1. The Buck Stops Here- I am responsible for me
2. I will greet this day with a forgiving spirit
3. I will be a person of action
4. I will surround myself with wisdom
(That's all I remember)

I also took the time to translate about 1500 words from Spanish.

I can be as good as I want to be. Let me change that. I can be as good as I TRY to be. This doesn't mean that I can accomplish all I want. What I accomplish is according to God's will, and my following that will. What this does mean, however, is that the quality of person God has to work with is completely up to me.

I see clearly now that my depression(I guess you'd call it) was the consequence of seeing my life in accomplishments. I'm only 27!!!! What should I expect??!! Pride. It is just pride. I stopped worrying about my spiritual quality, and focused more on spiritually quantity (which, for the sake of quantity is always carnal and not spiritual). This should be so elementary, but I know so many pastors who feel the way I did for that time. The Holy Spirit has a huge part in increasing my spiritual quality, but it all hinges on my permission to allow him to do so. Freewill is a punk sometimes!!!! It is completely up to me.

A Little Tongue Action

2010-03-03T09:35:00.001-08:00

So after some careful study this morning, I'm convinced that tongues have ceased. If you read the Bible, that's the only conclusion you can come too.
What do you think and why?

Things I'd Really Like to Live By

2010-03-01T08:46:00.000-08:00

Things I'd Really Like to Live By

1. Questioning is allowed, but cynicism is not

2. Loving People is not optional

3. Sarcasm is not Healthy Communication

4. I am God's property, regardless of what He wants to do with me

5. I am saved, therefore I am a Preacher

6. John Mayer Guitar is to be player constantly in the background

2 White Horses

2010-02-25T06:58:00.000-08:00

I finished Judges today. I've read it before, but I was, once again, astonished at the last verse. It always gets me. All throughout the book of Judges, a judge would rise up and lead Israel, the judge would die, and Israel would fall away from God. The book finishes with these words, "In those days there was no king in Israel; every man did that which was right in his own eyes."

These words amaze me because they describe our situation today. I was talking to my father-in-law the other day about the current political climate. I asked him if he ever remembered it being so divided. He is old enough to know about the Bill Clinton days and the Richard Nixon days. He said that he has never seen the nation so divided. The climate of our nation is as partisan as it has ever been. People no longer disagree with one another, they hate one another. In the past, there were Republicans and Democrats, but most were Christian at the end of the day. Now, Christianity has become a political movement in and of itself. We are divided. One of the main reasons that this has occurred is lack of leadership. Say what you will about Obama, but I think he is a severely misguided person, bordering on idiot status. I don't say this because he is black or because he is Democrat. I say this because he is so focused on carrying out his own health care agenda while the nation is in crisis that he is surrendering his opportunity for leadership. I don't want this post to become a political referendum, I just see that we lack leadership. There is no one whom the American people, as a whole, trust to lead them, as a whole.

This is a bad place. When Israel was left without a leader, they always became unified under one of two types of people: godly or ungodly. Regular people (myself included) don't belong in the role of National Leadership. I do believe that regular people should become great people, but God is not an idiot. He sets up and tears down kings and kingdoms. There needs to be a specially gifted person to lead a nation. Our nation is in a vulnerable position, poised for a leader to take charge.

The crazy thing is that our nation is not the only one in turmoil. The world is less at ease politically than I think it was even during WWII. At least in the 30's and 40's, there were good guys and bad guys. Today, there are bad guys, and bad guys who used to be good guys but who are so overtaken by their secularization that they are bipolar good guys at best. The financial situation is as dire as its been since the Great Depression. The scary thing, though, is that this time, a godly nation may not be the savior. It may be a Communist Nation with Buddhist roots.

I say all that to say this: A Leader is Coming. For anyone of you who was spiritually stirred just now, thinking I was talking about Christ, sorry. I wasn't. Revelation tells us how that a man(or government) is going to ride in on a white horse bringing peace without bloodshed. The Antichrist is waiting in the wings for that opportunity. Jesus told us the signs that would occur before this would come to pass.
1. Wars and Rumors of Wars.
2. Earthquakes
3. Pestilence
4. New Religions Popping up like crazy
5. Famines
He describes these as the "beginning of sorrows". He also says this: "And because iniquity shall abound, the love of many shall wax cold". That is the worst of all. That is the climate that allows the antichrist to show up smiling. Isn't that how it seems? Christians(real Christians, not political Christians) are getting to the place where they are so tired of fighting for social morality, that giving up is not far around the corner. There isn't a show you can watch without seeing overblown sexuality, homosexuality, murder, or just plain secular thinking. Its on the news and in cartoons. It is in secular school curriculum. I, for one, am tired of fighting. I would rather buy a cabin in the woods and hide out the rest of my days. That is a horrible mentality to have because our very purpose for being is to reach others with the cause of Christ. I hear this in other believers too. "I'm just gonna worry about my family" or "I don't talk politics or religion in public".

Someday(soon), someone is going to rise up and find a middle ground. He will bridge the gap between serious morality and serious immorality. I think many Christians will be surprised when they discover(after he shows his true colors) that they were cheering him on.

Go ahead, give lip service to the teachings of the Rise of the AntiChrist and the Return of Christ. It says in I Thessalonians that the Day of the Lord will come as a thief in the night. This is one of my least favorite verses. Why? Because people are idiots and read what they want to read. (sorry to any idiots who may have been offended during the writing of this blog). True, it says that the Day of the Lord will come as a thief in the light. But it also says, however, that we are not children of the dark that is should overtake us as a thief. We are children of the light. A burglar can't steal my stuff if I shine a spotlight on him while he's in my yard. We are supposed to know what is coming and not be surprised by it.

I think its sad that we have this unsaid order of curriculum in church. First, you learn bible stories. Then, you learn Bible lessons. Then, when you get to be really old and really smart, you learn prophecy. Paul was at Thessalonika for a month. In that time, he planted a church and had them looking for the return of Christ. I and II Thessalonians is filled with end time teachings. You don't have to become one of those weirdos wearing a sandwich board proclaiming that the end is near if you start studying prophecy.

We need to be informed because we are closer than we've ever been. We need to be informed because(despite what most people teach) we are going to be here for most of it. We need to be informed because we need to know about the first guy on the white horse bringing peace as the AntiChrist. We also need to know about the second guy on a White Horse whose is called Faithful and True, who will judge and make war in righteousness, whose eyes are as a flame of fire and on whose head are many crowns, who is clothed in a robe dipped in blood and whose name is The Word of God. The armies of Heaven will follow him. He will smite the nations and will rule with a rod of iron. He wears a sign that says King of Kings and Lord of Lords. We need to know about the first white horse because it will usher in the second!!!!!

How informed are you?

Spiritual Lessom from Buddy Guy????!!!!

2010-02-23T08:23:00.000-08:00

I understand one more piece of Scripture today.

I went to Kansas City this weekend to see Buddy Guy and B.B. King play. (Yes, I am one of those who thinks a 10 hour drive is well worth it to see two 70-80 year old men play the Blues.) I was sitting in this old theater with about 2,000 other people, and I had a spiritual epiphany. As I was watching Buddy Guy play another of his amazing guitar licks, I found myself in awe. You know? To be in awe is to stand before a thing and hold your mouth open like an idiot and say, "Ahhhhh". I didn't see anything else but that 70 something year old black man. I couldn't. I was as transfixed as one can be.

It was in this perpetual state of awe, that, a thought went through my head. My inner voice said in the clearest tone, "I can never touch my guitar again". For those of you who know me, know that I love my guitar. It has traveled more miles with me than most friends. It has moved me from and into great passion and/or depression. It is my outlet into myself. I love it. For this thought to cross my mind, I must have gone a little insane, right? In the middle of a crowd that smelled like beer and cigarettes, I immediately was thrown to a passage of Scripture.

Jesus borrowed Simon Peter's boat to preach out of one morning. When He was done, He asked Peter to shove off and fish for a while. Peter, an experienced fisherman in his own right, told this landlubbing carpenter that they fished all night and didn't catch a thing. But, because it was a really awesome landlubbing carpenter, he would give it the old college try. They set out into the lake, in the middle of the day, in the middle of exhaustion from having fished all night. With, I'm sure, a little hesitation, they cast their nets over the side of the boat. Then it happened. With the first tug of the rope, they felt a tension that had eluded them all the night before. They began pulling in nets filed to the brim. At first, they thought they could do it themselves. But then, these experienced fishermen had to cry out for help like a bunch of greenhorns because their nets were breaking. When all was said and done, they had so many fish that the boat began to sink!!!

Peter was a fisherman by trade. This was a great day for him. He just hit the jackpot. Did he turn to Jesus and say, "Thank You so much, you just made me rich!!", or, "Look at my boat!!! What are you trying to do me!!!!"? No. He had one of those moments of clarity. In the midst of this fast-paced day, it all slowed down, like it does sometimes. He looked around at the amazing site of a boat sinking under the weight of a catch and spoke some surprising words.

He fell down at the feet of Jesus, grabbed His knees, and said, "Depart from me; for I am a sinful man, O Lord". He was struck by two, very surprising and maturing realizations: 1. Everything he could have ever hoped to be was so small. This man had just reached the pinnacle of Peter's own career in a few minutes. His hopes and dreams suddenly paled in comparison when contrasted with the opportunity to do even the smallest chore for this man standing before him. It would be better to be a guitar tech for such a great man, then to even consider spending a lifetime trying to achieve the same greatness. It would be better to be a doorkeeper in heaven than to be a king for a thousand elsewhere. 2. This man was great!!! That's it.

He found himself at the crossroads of self-understanding and God-understanding. He saw both how small he was and how great God was at the same moment. Those are life-changing moments. It is therapeutic to be aware of how small we are in relation to God. A nice piece of humble pie never does anyone bad. It is also very worshipful to be aware of how truly great God is. But, it is in that moment when those two understandings intersect, that a man will leave all he has and go with nothing into nothing for nothing but the chance to be in the Service of such a Worthy King.

Gideon No. 2

2010-02-18T07:24:00.000-08:00

Poor old Gideon. He is hailed as a great Biblical hero, and now I find that he has some schmuck-like qualities.

We have way too much stuff. I did a search a few years ago and found out that the average income in the US is around 35,000 a year while the average income for the world is around 3,000 a year. I don't think we can even comprehend how much stuff we have. I have lived as a poor person for the past five years, and I still have 2 rooms filled with stuff that I haven't seen in ages!!! My little family(of just one man and one woman) has more than we need by far. Is this a bad thing? Well, yes and no.

Here's the lesson I took from my next reading in Judges. Do you remember last post? You know, the one where Gideon was prepared by God to give God glory by taking all but 300 men from his army to defeat Midian? God went to such great lengths to leave no room for anyone else to become LORD of that day, and do you know what Gideon did? He asked for the earrings of all the men who were defeated(they wore earrings because they were Ishmaelites-which is means they new how to accessorize). And then:

"Gideon made an ephod thereof, and put it in his city; and all Israel went thither a whoring after it: which thing became a snare unto Gideon, and to his house." Judges 8:27 (KJV-if you couldn't tell)

Gideon was seen by God, acknowledged by God, used by God, and, in turn, blessed by God. What did he then do? He made the blessings from God his idol. At one point in his story, he was completely engaged in battle with those who sought to defeat God's people. While in the throws of battle(who knows what that means), he had no problem seeing God for Who and What He was, God. But, when he stopped fighting, when he had only to bask in the gifts that come from knowing and being used by God, he let his guard down.

I think this may be the best summary for American Christianity that I have seen in the Scriptures thus far. We fought for years to please God. We were, I believe, seen by God and used by God as a nation. When we finally became the most blessed nation on earth, we started coasting. Now, all those blessings that came from God in the first place, like freedom of speech, religion, etc, have become idols that we now worship to our own demise. Our level of wealth is an unseen idol in our lives that handicaps us.

Think about it: How would our Spiritual lives differ if we had to depend on God for rain? How would we act if there was a state church, and it wasn't the right one? How would you witness if someone told you you weren't allowed to? How much Bible would you read if you didn't spend HOURS watching tv each week? If God called you to go, how much does your home, stuff, and debt play into that decision? What if it weren't there?

What do we do? Do we live as hermits or farmers in order to know God more fully? No. That wold render us unable to know people more fully, which is the point of all this anyway. So what do we do? Do we all pack up and move to Africa? No. If we all moved there, it would become America. Do we pull a Peter Waldo and sell all our stuff and live as a peasant fro Christ sake? No.

This argument is not new. Buddha (the original dude with the name Buddha) tried it way back when. He was an Indian Maharaja who sold all his stuff and eventually, living in poverty, acjieved nirvana(the religious experience, not the band). People have been grappling with how to defeat this thing called success as long as there have been people. So what do you do when your biggest enemy is your success in your Christian walk?

Maybe Gideon's biggest problem was that he stopped being engaged in battle. Maybe, if we seek out the spiritual battles each day, never allow ourselves to have a normal, mundane days, and wait until after death do receive those blessings, that would solve our problems. Maybe I should not look forward to those "normal" day so much. You know: wake up, go to work, come home, cook dinner, watch our shows, go to bed. I find myself longing for normal days. I guess I should be longing for days out of the ordinary. After all, those are the days that define us.

I went out to eat with my old Youth Minister the other day. While I sat at my table in What-a-Burger basking in my greatness (you know, now that I'm a Bible Teacher at a Christian School and a Music Minister---it's my job, man I'm cool), he walked around talking to everyone in the place. He talked to people in line. He talked to the employees. He may have witnessed to them or not. What I do know is that he looked for the opportunity. He was visiting old friends, one reason to take a break from all that Christian stuff. He is a full-time Missionary on vacation, another great reason. The difference in him and me is this: that is normal for him while it is a phenomenal day for me. I've never known him to take a day and sit in the bubble bath of success soaking up self-praise. He's not perfect, it may happen. But, I don't see it. He stays engaged in battle as a member of the Army of his LORD. Idle hands are the devil's workshop is not scriptural, but it ought to be.

Gideon's Lesson

2010-02-16T07:25:00.000-08:00

I like the story of Gideon. It came up in my daily reading and I wanted to share the lesson it showed me.

God told Gideon to raise an army. He raised a huge army from four tribes of Israel. They were being oppressed by the Midianites and needed salvation. Gideon had one major problem (or at least God saw it as a problem). He had too many soldiers. God told him that his great army would slay the Midianites and say that they did it all themselves and forget God. Actually, the King James says, "lest Israel vaunteth themselves against me, saying 'Mine own hand hath saved me'"(gotta love it when the word "vaunteth" is used).
What did God do? He told Gideon to tell everyone who was scared to go home. They lost 22,000 soldiers in one fell swoop(I love that saying). God looked down on that army of only 10,000 and still saw too many prideful soldiers. He then told Gideon to go have a drink (not that kind of drink....get your mind out of the gutter you drunk...lol). He had all his men go down to the creek and drink water. Every man who pulled the water to his mouth and lapped it like a dog was chosen over those who got down on their knees and stuck their mouth in the water. That left only 300 men to fight an army of that was "numbered as the sands". As you can imagine, God's people won.

This made me wonder what Gideon must have been thinking. Surely he thought this was a test on his patience or his faith, or his common sense. I can't fathom all that he felt with an already small army, relatively, that just told 22,000 men to go home. I absolutely can't imagine what must have gone through his mind as he stood with only 300 men!!!

How many times do we convince ourselves that God is testing us? How often do we look our situations, that may not be so great at times, and ask God, "Why me?" The moral of this story of Gideon is this: Get over yourself you pompous jerk!!! True, there may be times when God tests us, but, more often then not, that has nothing to do with any of it. I wonder how much time God spends on our lives simply making us able to give Him the glory.

I Corinthians tells us that He chooses to uses the broken ones to confound those who are "put together", and that He chooses to use the weak to confound the wise. Of course, this is to show His greatness to those whom He confounds. What we often forget is that it is also to show His greatness to those whom He uses to confound. Does God go out of His way to find idiots and losers? Absolutely not! Many times, this is taught inadvertently, and it does God's workers a disservice. I believe, through the examples of Gideon, Moses, Abraham, Joseph, Jacob, David, Job, Paul, Peter, John, etc., that He uses much of His time making us able to give Him the glory.

Oh what an uncomfortable process!!! God has to strip away our pride to make us able to reach our greatest potential in His service. 2 things come to mind from that sentence.
1. Pride is our own worst enemy. Pride is the baseline for EVERY SINGLE SIN. Every sin is, in essence, us telling God, "I am god of myself right now".
2. God's definition of "greatest potential" is different than ours may be. He is more concerned with quality than quantity.

"I am still Here, I am still God"

2010-02-11T07:00:00.000-08:00

So why don't I just bare my own soul in the internet....
I had an epiphany, a sudden realization of reality.
I have had a rough year. I became spiritually dead. I stood on the precipice of unbelief and stared down the dragon of heresy, hoping it would burn me with it's flame.

Almost ten years ago, one of my best friends died in a car accident. I didn't mean to, but I fell into the darkest period of my life. I was in college. I started drinking, alot. I had a number of meaningless relationships that got me by for a while. I kept up the facade, for the most part, but I left God. It took time, but I realized that I left Him, and not that He left me.

Last summer my Pappaw died. It was expected and needed. He was in bad shape. He was a believer and now resides in heaven with his savior. I assumed that it would hurt, but that its effect would not have long term spiritual implications after surviving the unexpected loss of my friend years earlier. Around the same time, things at the church started going downhill. It doesn't matter what anymore, just suffice it to say that it went downhill for me. Somewhere, in the midst of all the drama and mourning(or lack thereof), I didn't just question God's purpose for my life, I questioned the universe about God's existence. I didn't realize that I was doing this for a while. It happened a little at a time. It started with feeling like I was alone. It evolved into feeling like I was being left alone for some kind of test. That, in turn, evolved into believing I was alone. There were people all around, and God did not change. I changed.

I was never mad at God for Pappaw's death. I still don't see the need to be. That was, however, the stresser that started the slide. How do I know that I never dealt with those emotions? Counting Christmas, I can count the number of times I've been to his house since he died on one hand, and it is my favorite place. I still haven't listened to the recording of his voice that came with his "memory book" that I got for Christmas. I've only looked at the book once thus far. I have been to his grave once, and I don't yet see a day when I can go back. Even as I write this, I am realizing how deep these feelings go. It's not ok to cry in a public coffee shop, so I won't.

I came to the point of quitting. With this lack of faith or even belief in God, church work and church people are not worth the trouble, even the great ones.

I found myself, finally, at the point of looking to the sky and telling whoever was up there to forget about it. I couldn't do it. So instead, I dared it, defiantly and rebelliously, to prove itself. With every ounce of passion I have, I looked to the heavens and said, "If You are real, then I need proof! It doesn't matter that I'm a preacher/pastor and should know better. I don't care about a test! If You want me, then You let me know You are there!"

In that very moment, He was there. No words were spoken, He was just there. With that, I realized how long He had not been there, or rather, how long I'd ignored Him. For almost a year, I have been teaching young believers, leading worship, and preaching sermons while not even truly believing He was there. No wonder it was unsuccessful. I know many of my friends have seen this, but had no words to say to help. It wouldn't have mattered anyway. No amount of logic would have helped. There is no logic for one who says there is no God. The fool says in his heart, There is no God.

Psalm 46 says, "Be still and know that I am God". This normally means quiet. I tried that. When I study, I need noise. Even now, I am listening to John Mayer on my ipod. God, who knows me better than I know myself, allowed me to step to the brink. He allowed my mind to become so filled with noise, doubts, arguments, facts, and figures that I wanted to just never think again. Then, when it reached that point, when the noise is so loud it seems silent, when your ears stops recognizing sound and just ring, that still small voice said, "I am still Here, I am still God".

Do I regret the last year? No. I didn't do it purposefully, so it wouldn't help anything to regret it. Did it have consequences? Yes. There is a church full of people that I refused to lead. There are doubts in my mind that are there to be contended with until I die. There is the most amazing wife who has followed her spiritual leader down a dark path. Can all be repaired? I think so. Will God forgive me?

Yes.

Love Your Pastor as Yourself

2010-02-09T08:06:00.001-08:00

I think it really sucks that Moses didn't get to go into Canaan. Is that ok to say? I think it sucked royally. Here is a guy that worked his tail off for years for a group of people that never could so much as work up a thank you fruit basket. I never have cared for this story, but I dislike it more now that I have pastored a while. I know of a handful of pastors right now who aren't working in churches because they can't seem to convince themselves that it is worth dealing with the typical church people. We don't see all there is to see in the story of Moses. We can't see the "behind the scenes" stuff. There is no way to know for sure if there were people calling him all hours of the night because their marriage was in shambles and had to talk at that moment, and then watched them as they ignored all of his advice and stayed unhappy.We don't know for sure if there were people at random times bringing issues up such as music, the youth dirtying things, what version of the Torah to read, how much authority the Pastor should have, what color the new paint should be, whether or not a divorced person can do anything......and the list goes on.

Moses' main purpose was to get the Children of Israel to the Promised Land. Their main goal was to do anything but that.

The main purpose of a church is evangelism and evangelism training. As much as anyone may disagree, children's education, fellowship, and even worship come second. And, as a matter of record, creating an atmosphere for people who don't rule anything in their life to rule over something is most definitely not a purpose of a church. I see why Moses was so upset. It is frustrating when there is a group of people that pay a man to lead them where the Lord wants them to go and then do all they can to stop all of his leadership.

If you are reading this and have not served in the ministry, hear this: You have no idea what your pastor goes through. He has really great seasons, but most of the time it is like shoveling out a septic tank. Regardless, he love the job and he loves you. Even if you think you have an idea, you don't. You will never know what it is like to have the weight of an entire church's spiritual well-being on your back. Here is some great advice for you, and I pray you take it.

1. Pray for Him. I don't mean in the quick sense. I mean in the hyper-religious on your knees kind-of way. He is the main target for every spiritual battle in the church. The devil knows this, the pastor know this, and so often no one else does.

2. Be His Friend. every now and then stop by and talk to him about anything but church. What if every conversation you had with everyone you hung out with was about your job? I know it's a calling, but it's also a job.

3. Protect His Family. Give your life before you let anyone in the church place the burden of church work on his wife or kids. They are not the pastor, but are often treated such.

4. Force Him to Take Time Off. Pastoring is the only job I know of where you are on call 24/7/365. The annual messenger meeting is not a vacation!!!!!!!!!!!!!(Is that enough exclamation point?) Get the church to publicly ok one day off a week. Remember, he spends Saturdays watching your kid's play ball and Sundays is the busiest day of the week for him. He doesn't get a weekend.

5. For Heaven's Sake.......PAY THE MAN!!!!! He should make about the average of the church. While you eek by with 40+ a year, a 401k, and insurance, he starts out(in the ABA at least) around 20-25 a year with the same number of kids you have, with no retirement(and no way to save one), and no insurance. Is he in it for the money? Of course not! It bugs me to no end that the average church member expects a preacher and his family to drive run down cars, wear old clothes, and completely depend on a church for everything. Imagine if you had to depend in the people in your church for everything? Really, think about that mean old man in the 3rd pew, or the young couple that hasn't tithed in 2 years because they are in debt up to their eyeballs. It is not horrible if, for a time, his salary is the biggest part of the budget.

6. Last but not least, Trust Him. Don't ever follow blindly, but remember that you pay him to lead. If you want to lead, then fire him and do it yourself.

L

Screwtape's Prayer Advice

2010-02-02T07:42:00.000-08:00

Who knew? Reading really is fundamental. I don't pray. I'm not exaggerating at all. I don't, ever. I have tried time and time again to justify this behavior, but no excuse is sufficient. I have never really been able to figure this problem out. I thought maybe that "I was more of a studying kind of person". While my natural inclination is to study and read, it doesn't lessen God's requirements on my prayer life. I also have thought that, "I have a constant attitude of prayer". That's a crock!! An attitude of prayer is not prayer if that's all you've got.

I was reading the Screwtape Letters by C.S. Lewis a few nights ago, and found more clarity on this subject than I've had in the past 10 years. It is a collection of letters written from one Senior Demon to his nephew Demon on how to carry out the business of satan. I understand that this is fiction, but it gives great insight into the spiritual battle that accompanies prayer. It also showed me how that prayer is one of the easiest tools satan can use to control us. Listed below are the instructions Screwtape (the Senior) gives to Wormwood (his nephew) on using prayer to his advantage.

1. Remind the believer of his parrot-like prayers of his childhood. This creates the belief that little effort is required to please God in prayer. It allows the believer to "feel" as if they have prayed successfully, while, in fact, they have said nothing of worth to anyone.

2. Persuade them that the bodily position makes no real difference. (I have learned and taught that it doesn't matter, but the word for worship literally means "to bow down".) Whether we like it or night, we are mortals. Our souls, to some extent, take their cue from our bodies.

3. Cause the believer to turn his thoughts on himself. When he asks for love, let him create the feeling of love. When he asks for courage, let him create the "feeling" of courage. Then, cause him to grade the success of his prayer by the success in producing the desired feeling. Never let them suspect how much success of that kind depends on whether they are well or ill, fresh or tired, at that moment.

4. Cause the believer to create in his mind an idol. Cause him to pray, not to God, but to his own image of God, based on the pictures or images he has seen. This works even if the images are reverent and religious. Also, cause him to believe in God as a location, not as a person. Cause him to pray directly to a certain wall, or corner of the room, or especially a cross of some kind. Whatever the cost, keep him praying to it. If possible, convince him that silence while thinking on one of these images or objects is prayer. This will occupy his mind.

I can honestly say that I am guilty of all of these things. My prayers become parroted. They all start to sound the same. Why shouldn't they, when all the prayers I heard in childhood all sounded the same. We would ever laugh at church when certain men would pray because we could mouth the words with them. I, always desiring to be rebellious, have fully convinced myself that bodily position doesn't matter. While, in theory, one can pray with any posture and in any situation, there needs to be a time when a man falls on his face before the God of all Creation. Our souls do take their cues from our bodies many times. I have often graded the success of my prayer life on how much feeling it produced. This is one of the main reasons I have become disillusioned with prayer. If you set goals you were never meant to accomplish, you will be disappointed. If you set yourself up for failure, you will always feel like a failure. I am ashamed to say that I have even been guilty of praying to objects, directions, or images in my mind. To "help me stay focused" I have stared at a cross on the wall. I have purposefully turned my gaze to an upper corner of the room as if God were there.

I know that every man that I respect in the ministry is a praying man. Knowing this and desiring to be like these men has never been enough to undo my disrespect for prayer. It has always felt like a waste of time. I know in my heart this is wrong. I know in my mind that it's not.

Now, with the clarity afforded me by C.S. Lewis, I am excited about praying with a correct mindset and with a proper spirit. Thank God for imparting wisdom to those who need it. I've prayed a few times since reading that chapter, and each time, I have been fully aware that satan's workers are fully aware that I'm fully aware. It has quickly become, each time, an intense chess match for control of my mind. I don't know if I can be successful enough for them to back off. It may never happen; they may have inexhaustible resources. I can't wait to be separated from this sinful body that gives them a foothold into my mind. With the Spirit's help, and God's mighty power, I will become a man of prayer.

Belief vs. Belief

2010-01-26T07:26:00.000-08:00

Oh go to Hell!!! That is my message to Christianity today. Slightly offensive? Keep reading.

In my mind, there are 2 very different ideas of what "believe" means. One camp says that to believe in a thing means to be aware of a thing and be ok with admitting its existence. There is another type of belief, however, that must always intersect with action. Awareness is not enough. These two apply to pretty much everything. The problem lies in how that we (I) put certain things in the wrong camp. You believe that the sky is blue and do nothing. You believe its gonna rain and get an umbrella.

I don't really buy this whole "Hell" thing. Don't get me wrong, before you call for my head. I do believe in Hell, and all that the Scriptures say about it. Or do I? I know this is gonna come across as a typical sermon, but its not a sermon, its my heart.

Hell is said to be a place of eternal separation from God. It is said to be hot. There are worms that dieth not and flames that are not quenched. I know that the word for Hell in Hebrew is gehenna. It spoke of the valley that became the perpetual garbage dump for Jerusalem. It was always on fire and there were always worms. I don't know if there is actual fire and worms in Hell or if that is the best way mankind has to describe it. I'm not saying there's not those things either. I've been taught that the story of Lazarus and the Rich Man was an actual story and not a parable, but I'm just not sure about that. It doesn't change anything, except that it may be a parable. I know that Jesus said almost 3 times as much about Hell as He did about Heaven. He thought it was important.

The word for Hell in Greek is hades. It is the same word for the Greek version of the underworld, one place separating the good and bad with a divide. Many people take this and make it something its not supposed to be. Is Hell under the earth as the Middle Age idea would tell us? Is it in a spiritual realm next to Heaven, separated by a great gulf? Is it a place where Adolf Hitler is constantly punished with pineapples and Adam Sandler would lead us to believe? Wherever it is, I believe it is there. Did you see what I just said? "I believe it is there".

I know in my mind all that I am supposed to know about Hell. But I don't believe it. If I did, my belief would intersect with action. I don't witness......ever. It has nothing to do with how it is uncomfortable. The fact that it takes effort also plays no part. My schedule has no bearing on it either. I've used so many excuses over the years to justify myself to the people who have tried to hold me accountable. The problem, and I'm just now seeing it clearly, is that my mind and heart have no bearing on Hell. Had I any grasp of what happens to a soul in Hell, it would quickly become as urgent as eating and drinking. I wouldn't wish all that I know about Hell on anyone that I currently know(who knows, maybe I'll meet someone...lol). If I believed in Hell I would hold up the line at Wal-Mart, I would never pay at the pump again, and I would always leave a good tip, so as to not mess up my witness. I would walk the streets and knock on doors regardless of how outdated it is in this area. I would work at homeless shelters and nursing homes, just for the opportunity. I would take a job based on my possible outreach potential instead of how much it paid and the hours it would provide.

Here's another justification: You ready? Maybe that's my problem: it has to be all or nothing. You like that one? Doesn't that sound pious? I sound like an awesome Christian. The best on the block!!!

Here's another: I feel like this pressure is on me because I'm a preacher. Doesn't that make me sound better than everyone else? {Get over yourself Cory. The Great Commission is to everyone. If they are not doing it either, that has nothing to do with you.} I tell 7th-8th graders to worry about their position in Basketball and no one else's. It applies here too. So much for that excuse.

The truth is that when I look out on the lost, I don't see the lost. I don't even generally see people. I see bodies that may or may not have personalities that I want to interact with, much less souls that Christ died for. What a jerk! Does this make me a horrible person? No. Does it make a horrible Christian? Yes. Am I worse than any other? Doesn't matter anyway.

I want to be a missionary. I want to go and do great things. I am learning....who am I kidding? I have learned that a missionary is what you are and has no bearing on where you are. I'm no missionary. I want to be....but there are two "wants" just like there are two "believes".

Gotta Get a Filter

2010-01-22T13:02:00.000-08:00

I have really bad water at my house. Jacob's Water Supply on County Road 208 is horrible. We fill our bathtub and see things floating in it. All out whites are now topes. We got a thing in the mail saying that we shouldn't drink the water from the tap because it contains carcinogens. So, what did we do? We bought one of those cool water filter jugs. Why am I rambling on about all this? It made me think of something from studies.

Knowledge is information (i.e. stuff). Wisdom, however, is the capacity to correctly use that "stuff". Knowledge is the water, Wisdom is the filter. I just read the first few chapters of the "Screwtape Letters". It is the fictional correspondence of 2 demons, one explaining to the other how to keep his "patient" from coming to know Christ. The first tactic he urges him to use is, what I call, "knowledge-overload". He tells him to keep him away from the reasoning process and point him to useless information. This story was written in the forties (I think). I'm not sure that when C.S. Lewis wrote this he had any idea of the kind of society we would have today. I can take my phone, and with Google and Wikipedia, tell you all you'll ever need to know about anything. Seriously, the other day, I spent a few hours reading about the Crusades, the Seljic Turks, the Essenes, Renaissanse Art, and Ireland. I know more about these topics than any one person ever should. What blows my mind, is that every teenager in my class has the same ability. I have 5 News apps on my phone. I get messaged everytime Facebook changes. We are in a Knowledge ridden society. In the Old Days, whatever that means, one would have to travel to a library, and not just any library, the only one with the books they needed, to find this information. We are bombarded.

The problem is this: We have an (almost) infinite opportunity to increase in knowledge, but the same opportunity we've always had to grow wisdom. And what makes it worse, is that, even at our best, we had trouble with this wisdom thing. Remember what was said: "Knowledge is the water, wisdom is the filter". How and where do we gain or grow this filter?

1. Proverbs says the "Fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge(they mean wisdom here). The fear of the Lord means "respect or reverence", or so I've been told. It also means flat out fear. You revere your parents when you fear the belt. Where does this fear come from? Where do we go to learn of God's ideas about what should happen, and the consequences He desires if we do differently? The Bible. Why is that always so hard? I read the Bible, straight through, in a year this last year. It felt impressive(since I never really did it in seminary-really, with all that homework??!!!) until I saw that a friend of mine read through the Bible 12 times last year!!! Why is it so hard to simply read the Bible? I find that all the intellectual questions I have(i.e. doubts) only come when I'm not in a regular reading schedule. It is only in His word that we can learn to Fear the Lord. I'm gonna see if I can read it through at least 3 times this year.

2. Proverbs 1,2,3,4,5,and 7 all start with the writer saying, "Son, remember my commandments". This is not God speaking. This is a father speaking to his son. Parents are the second greatest means of growing a filter. Either parents or "lessons learned in childhood" (however you want to see it). Is it any surprise that our world looks the way it does? Nah. I know 3 to 5 times as many families that are considered "broken", "blended", or whatever, than I do families that have always been together. This doesn't mean these families have no hope, but it does mean that have to work a little, if not a lot, harder. Kids who are raised in homes without the structure God intended have to learn their own lessons or learn their lessons when a working mom or split-time dad can teach them, which stunts their opportunity for wisdom. I'm not running the parents down, they have to make due with the situation they find themselves. If you have to work alot, you have to work alot. Couples from traditionally low income groups have a higher rate of divorce, which leads to kids with less (not without, but less) opportunity to grow that filter. This leads to kids who become adults with no filter. That creates a cycle. Praise be to God that He is more powerful than any cycle. I can't help but think that this is what He meant when He said He would punish ungodliness to the 3rd and 4th generations. It is more important to society now to teach kids about homosexuality and abortion than to teach them the 10 Commandments(I know, I just became one of those idiot Christians who can never leave it alone about the 10 Commandments). Maybe there is something to this.

Should it change? I don't think so, at least not legally or politically. Say what you will, but our constitution always left room for this to happen. That is where freedom leads.....to men wanting to be free from everything, including God. What I do think we should do is stop trying to fight battles we can't win against the spawn of these cycles of "knowledge with no filter", and start fighting to break the cycles in the lives of young people we come in contact with. We've lost the battle of abortion. To hear Christians talk, you'd think that it hasn't been legal for 30 years already!!!! We are quickly losing this Homosexual thing. It is not all lost yet, but let's pick our battles. Let's not vote down a Gay Marriage proposal if we aren't going to love a Homosexual. If we are not going to fight that battle, we should let them be married.

I'm sure there are other filters, but these are the 2 that I found to be the most important. Lesson of the Day: Read you Bible, no matter who you are, and listen to your parents(or be good ones). I'm sure I've rambled on enough.

Who is God Anyway?

2010-01-20T08:55:00.000-08:00

So I "happened" to be watching Oprah yesterday and I saw Adam Lambert's interview. Who is Adam Lambert? You know, that flaming ... from American Idol last year. He told Oprah that he was not happy with his life, so he decided to put out his dream to the Universe. He said that visualizing our dreams and desiring them strongly is the same as prayer. Is that prayer? We focus our thoughts on our wants and strongly desire them. The only difference is that we say we are focusing this thought to God and not simply to the Universe. Oprah called the Universe God. so, according to them, it is the same. Do you really believe that? This idea is stated, almost identically, in Dan Brown's "The Lost Symbol". There is this idea that is mankind's intellect is his god. Man is capable of anything if he can focus his mind, attain the correct information, and create a positive energy. Oprah pushed this idea when she endorsed a book called "The Secret" a few years ago. This idea is scary. It is mainstream and completely unnoticed. In a nutshell, this is the basic idea behind New Ageism, Wicca, Scientology, Masonry(I know, you're not supposed to talk about them), Darwinsm, and Buddism. There are others, but these come to mind. They all have a different flavor, but, dumbed down, that is what they teach.

Why does this bother me? Because it is difficult for an intellectual person to believe in an Invisible God, an Incarnate, Virgin-Born Jesus, and all the miracles that go with them. We live in an intellectual world. We are constantly bombarded with information from every medium imaginable. Teenagers today know more about science, math, and pop culture than any generation before them. Christianity is, more and more, filled with people who claim to know and serve Christ, but who teach this inadvertantly. We are compartmentalizing our lives in such a way that spiritual things are good for you when you feel bad or feel good, but if you want to be successful, work hard, set goals, do your best and you can be president. God will be there when/if you want him because God is Love and would never be upset with your blessed little self. In the mean time, you are completely in charge of your success and failure. Your "want to" is all you need. Does all this sound familiar?

Why does this bother me? Because it is the natural inclination of man. It is not new. It has been tried and retried since the beginning of mankind. Adam and Eve thought themselves God's equals when they decided to disobey. That's what it was right? "You can't tell me what to do God". Cain did the same thing with his sacrifice. Seth's descendants did the same after generation and chose to mix with Cain's wicked children. Nimrod did it after the flood, convincing the world he was god and that they could reach heaven. This is not even half way through Genesis.

Why does this bother me? Because everything is relative, at least that's what they say. "A sin for you may not be a sin for you" is where it all started. Just look at homosexuality as one of many examples. Our cousins or brothers or friends who thought they were "born that way" convinced us over time that it was ok for them, even if it was not ok for us. Now, we are being told time and time again with these marriage battles, that "since it's not a sin for me, it must not be a sin at all".

I realize that, for most who read this, you haven't had the time to study this topic. It has become a pet of mine. Once you start to see it in the actions, words, and even symbols of today, it's all you can see. It all comes down to one simple question: Will you let God be God, or will you try to be?

Just an Update

2010-01-19T07:56:00.000-08:00

It's been a while since I've posted anything. I figured I would give anyone who happened to see this an update.

Jess is trying to get into Dental Hygiene School. It is a 2 year program. We will move where we have to in order to do this. Pray for us.

I'm not at a church right now, mostly because I don't know where I'll be in a few months. We are really up in the air, but it feels good. We could end up anywhere, as long as we are moving and shaking. We both need some new air in our lungs.

Oh the Cowboy Crazies

2009-12-08T07:12:00.000-08:00

For the record, I preached Paul's Message to the Ephesian Elders. My Farewell was his Farewell.

It does surprise me, however, the influence a few words make. I created this blog with my name on it for me, and it still got around. It was very entertaining. I had almost no intention of taking "pot-shots", and I didn't. I will let the Lord do His work. I did find it interesting how that a church member who left our church to join the Cowboy Craze still reads this, and still talks about it to everyone. No hard feelings, really. It's funny. It is funny to know who is scared to come to church if the preacher might started pointing out the disappointing ones. Really, before anyone goes and starts running me into the ground, I'm not trying to make enemies. At this point it really is very entertaining. If only the fear of being embarrassed or talked about could translate into spiritual conviction.

I find that I do the same thing in my own life many times. My motivation for wanting to do right is motivated by what I am supposed to look like. I'm supposed to be a preaching, tithing, witnessing, praying, Bible-reading, loving, caring saint (holy one). Many times I'm just a talking, paying, hiding, hating, sarcastic fool. Keep in mind that those people look exactly the same to you. The difference is motivation. Not to go too cliche or anything, but the Prayer of Jabez comes to mind. There is a difference in "O that You would bless me indeed and increase my territory" and "o that You would be pleased with me as I bless myself and make my territory increase". What is propelling the plane? You(me) or God?

What if we lived our lives with no one in mind but God?

One Last Thing

2009-12-02T07:13:00.001-08:00

the topic for a final sermon.....

1. Do you take the time to thank those who have blessed you and your family
2. Do you discuss the Successes and Failures of your tenure
3. Do you present a view that inspires hope for the future and encourage future success
4. Do you try to make it a "boo-hoo" fest and make them see how much they're gonna miss you
5. Do you take a final pot-shot at those that you spent your tenure trying to change
6. Do you just preach a Christmas Message

This is the challenge before me now. I hope and pray that the correct subject is discussed. I know that I don't want a "boo-hoo" fest. I am selfish, however, and would like to know that I will be missed (completely for my own sinful benefit). I want to inspire hope, but I also know that success depends on a little house cleaning. I would like to present successes and failures, but I don't want it to seem like I'm tooting anyone's horn (especially my own). I want to thank the many people that have become friends and who have blessed my me and Jessica. Without the prayers, support, and even gifts, our time spent there would not have been possible. I, so bad, want to take a few pot-shots. I know for a fact that the motivation is because I love this church and want it to be successful. It is not personal. But, because pulling up tares will also pull out wheat, I can't do that. I wouldn't mind just preaching a Christmas message. That would be the easy thing to do. I have this problem with church. I'm not a fan of formality for the sake of formality. I can't just preach a sermon, knowing it is the last time I will speak to this church in session. I refuse to act like it is not happening. I have a thing for pointing out Pink Elephants and 300 lbs Gorillas. So, I guess a Christmas message is out.

Who knows what will happen? I guess you'll just have to come and see.

Anxiety Now

2009-11-19T19:08:00.000-08:00

Okay. It's all well and good that I'm leaving the church and many friends have a lot to say about it. It's about to make me crazy! Jess and I have no plans about the future. We are leaping and planning on looking later. One dies not get paid to look. I can't seem to turn my mind off today from thinking of all the possibilties AND all the worries about all that we just don't know yet.
I know: "be anxious about nothing but in everything with prayer and supplication give thanks"

- Posted from my iPhone

The Stars Align

2009-11-18T08:38:00.000-08:00

I'm excited because of all that God is doing behind the scenes to care for HIS church, LDMBC. From a very selfish perspective (and maybe even wise), I want LDMBC to find a great pastor and continue to fulfill its full potential. The "stars are aligning". It makes me feel so proud to know my God takes care of things when I can't/don't/won't. I get to feeling like if I don't do it, it won't get done. That is wrong. I'm just a vessel. If I'm not used, He'll find another vessel. The work is greater than me and my limitations. Praise be to God that it all doesn't hinge on me or any other human being.

a Few Things I Take With Me

2009-11-16T08:19:00.000-08:00

Well, in case you haven't heard, I resigned my post at Longview Drive last Sunday. Our last day will be December 13th.

There are some great people there, and it was overall a good 3 years. We will miss some people very much. I have learned many things in this experience, both by doing the right things, and by doing the wrong things some too. I've learned that teaching new adult believers is a great challenge that is always worth it! I've learned about integrity from one of the greatest men I've ever met. I've learned that a few people can do a great work if they try. I've learned that, no matter how long we've done it a certain way, tradition can be changed for the better. I think so highly of those more "mature" christians who were always willing to do anything I asked them to at least once. That is what it takes to reach the next generation. The positive lessons far outweigh the negatives.

I've learned that satan only needs one person to wreak havoc. I've learned that when it is apparent that satan is present, the church should remove him as quickly as possible. I've learned that civility and formality sometimes tie our hands. I've learned that a little leaven leavens the whole lump, one bad apple ruins the barrel, that one sick cow can ruin the herd. I write this without the expectation of someone reading it. But if, by chance, someone does read this however, know that I failed in removing the evil one and I pray you find success. If you can't see it, just watch who EVERY conflict involves. Some feel there is "US/Them" going on. It is not so. The church is not as divided as it seems. There is only 1 couple creating that illusion.

Maybe I've said too much. I do know this: I love Longview Drive more than I love satan, so I'll run the risk of saying too much. Nobody reads this anymore, so I may be safe in just getting this off my chest. Maybe somebody will.

Lessons from a Golden Retriever

2009-10-03T13:26:00.000-07:00

There are few things funnier than playing frisbee with my dog. He has yet to learn when to jump. He tries to jump too soon and has some pretty nasty spills. Even after the fall, he runs with all his energy and pounces on the frisbee. Then, it takes a small army to get it out of his mouth so we can do it all over again.
I wonder why it's been so long since I've approached anything with that kind of reckless abandon. I'm not talking about bungee jumping or skydiving. Nothing stupid. I'm talking about real things in life. When was the last time I loved my wife that way? When was the last time wrote her a letter or planned a Special date? When was the last time I worshipped with that passion? When did I last seek to serve God that way?
Just a thought.

- Posted from my iPhone

Want to lose 10 lbs

2009-10-01T09:40:00.000-07:00

I'm trying to lose 10 lbs. To do this, I got a calorie counter and a workout regimin for my iPhone. To be quite honest, it sucks!!!!
Does anyone have an encouragement or advice to male this easier?

- Posted from my iPhone

first iPhone post

2009-09-28T19:41:00.001-07:00

https://vr.shapeservices.com/play.php?hash=6657811629ee8b754ed5ed84a00f76dd62b55231b606966be

I'm posting this from my iPhone. this is cool!

___
Recorded on iPhone and posted with VR+ Lite.
http://vr.shapeservices.com

Vanilla Church

2009-09-15T07:50:00.000-07:00

So there's this book that's not written very well. In spite of its failings, the premise is great. It is centered this guy's 7 prayers that he learns to pray. Here is the first one.

1. Dear God, astound me with Your plans for me.

I can't decide what I think of this. On the one hand, I have heard my whole life, "For I know the plans I have for you, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future". I've sitting here waiting on these amazing plans to materialize. It's almost like I've been brainwashed into believing that if it isn't amazing then it is not God's plan for me. But I still would like that.

On the other hand, God seems to be simplifying everything lately. "Do the Great Commission", He says. But, to a Bible-belt Baptist, just doing the G.C. seems too simple.....like a cop out.

The more I ponder on this (yes I said ponder), the more I'm beginning to see that if I only did the G.C., life would not be that simple. If I made that top priority, then I would stick out, even in the Bible-belt. If my life was consumed with making sure every person was saved, baptized, and working to get others that way, then I might be offensive to some and stimulating to others, and there would be no "vanilla-Christianity". Maybe His plans are great, but in a simple kinda way.

What do you think?

Wherer Would You Go?

2009-09-14T10:28:00.000-07:00

If you could go anywhere in the world (money's no object), where would you go and why?

Here's the Rub

2009-09-10T09:10:00.001-07:00

So here's the rub. I had this insatiable hunger to follow God's leading in giving my life to HIm and doing the Great Commission...yesterday. Then, I wrote this awesome blogpost about it and it quenched some of that thirts. Now, I'm good.

I don't wanna be good. I wanna be changed.

Through the Looking Glass

2009-09-09T07:57:00.000-07:00

Ok, so I'm through the looking glass here. About a year ago, I read a certain book. That book, coupled with my vow to read through the Bible in a year, has brought to this place with the giant smoking caterpillar. There's no going back. 2 things

1. In His Steps- It was written about 100 years ago. It is the story of a local pastor who, through an encounter with a vagabond, vows to do only what he believed Jesus would do in his life. He goes to his church and asks whoever will make the same commitment to come with him. They meet after church each Sunday, praying for one another sharing stories. The book is the story of all these different people who actually give their lives away. This is where the WWJD thing started.

2. The Bible- The concept is not really that difficult. The Old Testament is Jesus putting together the Great Commission. The New Testament is the carrying out of the Great Commission.(I know that's a dumbed-down synopsis). The concept of Christianity is not that difficult. Disciple the world, baptize the world, teach the world to do the same. All the extra church is is just that....extra. It is ok, but also dead wrong if it is done in lieu of the Great Commission.

I said on Sunday Morning that it would do us all some good to go back in time when, if a person surrendered to Christ and joined a church, they were truly giving their life away. There is some wrong thinking there. We have become convinced that we don't sacrifice our lives for the cause of Christ because it is not required of us today. The truth is that we don't because now, unlike centuries ago, we have a choice.

2 Timothy 3:12 tells us clearly that all that live godly in Christ WILL suffer persecution. That tells me that if my Christian life is comfortable, and if the most exciting thing I do for Christ is sing a special or work in the nursery, than I am failing miserably. Should we try to be persecuted? Absolutely not!! But, we seem to be left with a choice....give our lives away and suffer it, or keep our lives and not. There seems to be no gray area.

When I say I'm through the looking glass, I mean this: God has made it clear what Christianity should be. If all it is is playing church, it's not worth it. But that is not all it is. It's time to either give my life away or keep it for good.

Stars and Nuggets

2009-09-03T09:29:00.000-07:00

So check this little nugget out from the Scripture:

In Revelation 1, John turns and sees this amazing sight. He sees Jesus Christ, the Son of Man, clothed in brlliant white, with brilliant white hair, eyes, like fire, a face like the sun, and feet like fired brass. Our Lord was holding in His right hand seven stars. Out of His mouth came a 2-edged sword.

So, John does what any good a Baptist would do....He fell down as dead. He wasn't gonna move until he knew it was safe! At this point, the Scripture does one of those deliberate things that often go overlooked. It says that Jesus placed His right hand on his shoulder and said, "Don't be afraid".

Jesus had an agenda. He was about to tell John all about these stars. But, when he saw the one whom He loved afraid, He put those stars down and comforted His child.

It is a great feeling to know that, in a world where schedules are demanding and can never be changed, Jesus is not held to any agenda or schedule. His first desire is to love us with that unconditional love that only He can truly understand. Praise Be To God.

Baseball Cards and Bibles

2009-09-02T07:18:00.000-07:00

I gave my Bible class (11-12 graders) one simple assignment.

Answer: How should the facts that I'm forgiven, I have hope, I am a Son of God, and I have the Fruits of the Spirit affect my life choices?

Out of 14 students, I got one paper that said anything of substance. These good Christian kids filled their papers with meaningless church talk. They gave me catch phrases like "I should live each day as if its my last". They restated that they believed they were those things. What they did not do was answer the question.

Is there a fatal disconnect? At what point in life are we expected to move the Word of God from novelty to practicality? This made me wonder at how much Scripture I know, but how little I use. The Bible is my favorite Baseball Card on the shelf, not my belt that I use everyday.

I remember my friend Wes. When we were kids, I wold go to his house and he would show me, every time, his autographed Nolan Ryan Baseball. As a 12 year old, that was cool but useless. I wanted to throw a baseball. No offense Wes, but he never really got any good at baseball.

Does anyone else have this problem?

The Word of God

2009-09-01T07:00:00.000-07:00

I love the Scripture. I Love It. It makes my soul stir. Sometimes, it excites me to the point that I lose sight of all else. Sometimes, it brings me to tears. I hope to read through the Bible hundreds of times before I leave this world. I long for every word from my mouth to be from or of the Word of God.

This excitement comes on the heels of a conversation with a good man. It seems that almost every time I talk to him, he urns the conversation to the Scriptures. I feel more focused, convicted, and/or worshipful every time I talk to him. I wonder why we as fellow believers talk about anything else.

What Scripture touches you?

Mine, today, is II Corinthians 4:16-18 "Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal"

2009-08-31T10:39:00.001-07:00

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